advocacy-
leadership development of young women

On April 23, 2007, I had the pleasure of attending Equal Pay Day at the State House in Boston.  It was a really eye-opening experience learning about the wage gap and hearing first hand accounts on the severity of the issue.  I really enjoyed the speakers that presented their arguments on pay equity.  I was particularly fond of Natasha Chatilo, who is the president of the Younger Women’s Task Force.  She spoke from a younger person’s perspective, which I thought was important for a college student like myself to hear that it is important for younger girls to learn about the wage gap, because it will affect them when they graduate from school.  I also liked hearing Donna Stewartson speak from a minority standpoint and mentioning the ramifications that a minority woman faces with working; she gets paid less than a white woman.  It was quite an honor to see Senate President Therese Murray and Dr. Evelyn Murphy both speak; they are both intelligent and  skillful women who care about this issue a great deal.  I also got a first hand experience on lobbying with legislative advocacy visits, letting the state reps and senators know about this bill that is trying to be passed, which is to require the state’s human resources division to establish an analysis study of state employees of the executive branch to update the current job classification and job qualifications to insure that          employee compensation, pensions, and benefits are free from gender and racial bias.  If this bill gets passed it would certainly be monumental because women have the right to make as much as a man, no matter what her race is.  This event is so crucial for women to attend because they give you resources to help fight the issue and stand up for this important cause.  I look forward to attending more events like this in the future because fighting and advocating for women’s rights is my passion.
             
—Anna Lisa Vust                                                                                                                                            
UMASS Dartmouth Class 2007

economic advancement

During a Financial Planning session on “The Financial Break-Up,” a participant confided to the facilitator and her peers the importance of the workshops to her situation.  In “Susanna’s” case, she was a newly divorced mother of two that had been living in an emotionally abusive marriage for 32 years.  The couple slept in separate beds after the first five years of the marriage.  She was a stay-at-home mother, whose role was to maintain the household and raise the children.  She felt trapped by the constraints of cultural and religious beliefs.  Divorce was looked down upon in her family and she was taught to “overlook” the troubles she faced in her unhappy marriage.  Furthermore, she didn’t want to her own children to believe that divorce was the only solution. 

As her own daughter entered into marriage, “Susanna” believed she had passed on strong family values to her daughter.  However, three years into her daughter’s marriage she confessed to “Susanna” that she was enabling a physically-abusive husband.  When “Susanna” questioned this, her daughter admitted that she was trying to deal with her loveless marriage as well as her mother had for so many years.  At this disappointing revelation, “Susanna”  became aware of the damage her own marriage had been to not only her, but her children.  “Susanna” and her daughter made a commitment to each other to get out of their oppressive relationships together. 

“Susanna” had been married for over 30 years and in this time she had been responsible for everything in the household, but the household finances.  She realized that this contributed in part to her need to stay with her husband for so long.  She didn’t know where to start in getting herself onto a path of financial security as a single-woman.  By participating in the 4-part series of Financial Planning workshops, she was able to overcome some of the major fears she had in surviving on her own.


 

racial justice

When approached about the work the YWCA does in racial justice, I am often commended on our efforts to work with children at a very early age.  In working with teenagers; however, I am often asked, “Do you believe it is too late?”  The common argument is that many of our teens are highly influenced by music and media, and many of them have made words like “Nigga” part of their colloquial language.  How do you change something that is a part of their social acceptance?   Just as it’s never too late for an adult to open up their hearts and minds to new ideas; it would be too easy to believe it’s too late for the teenagers in our communities.  I’ve learned so much about issues of race from my teens.  These young people are experiencing hard situations at home, in school and on the streets, and they know what racism looks like, sounds like and feels like. 

I recently had the opportunity to approach a new conversation on race with teen girls in one of our youth programs.  The situation had arisen as a result of a confrontation with a bus driver transporting them to the program.  Being teenage girls, they were shouting out the windows at boys on the streets.  The bus driver turned around and yelled for them to sit down.  When the girls became oppositional, the bus driver yelled, “I know your kind.  You’re all just a bunch of court cases.”  This statement created greater opposition from the girls and one of the girls, “Shayna” confronted him.  The bus driver responded, “I’m tired of this; you gave me problems like this last week.”  At this “Shayna” replied, “That wasn’t me.  That was ‘Brenda.’  Get your black girls straight.” 

The girls arrived to the program enraged.  They felt discriminated against and they were now suddenly unwilling to have anything further to do with the program because of what happened.  They started yelling things without thinking because their emotions had taken over them.  As instructors, we tried to assure the girls that we agreed the bus driver’s manner of resolving the issue was inappropriate.  We assured them we would appropriately address the situation, but the damage had already been done.  Because they were people of color, they were seen as “court cases.”  The girls were pleading that we couldn’t possibly understand what they were feeling.  Statements such as, “We act loud and obnoxious because that’s what society says we should be,” were made by these girls.   Another girl claimed that it’s situations like this that makes her “hard;” that makes her learn that she needs to defend herself, and the only way she knows how is to fight back.  Stories upon stories came from these young girls of their personal experiences with racism.  All of the statements, as random as they were becoming were pointing toward one direction—they felt they were being held back by barriers they couldn’t control.  “Shayna,” clearly upset sat up and said, “You don’t understand.  He didn’t even see me.  All he sees is that I am black.  He doesn’t see me.”  These are the barriers that our young people of color have to face.

In processing issues like this, we are able to open up a new dialogue that these girls may have; otherwise, not been encouraged to voice.  The girls had been left with a mark on their self-esteem after that day, but they were given the opportunity to make it a real issue, one that we could all recognize together in a space that was safe and empathetic of their feelings.  And it was one of those moments, when one could argue, “It’s too late.”

A couple weeks later a new issue came out of the transportation to the program.  The girls had a new bus driver.  The driver left too early from the school, bringing only three of the eleven girls to the program.  We had a guest speaker to talk about life goals and only three girls in attendance.  The girls present tried making calls to cell phones to figure out a way to get the others to the program, but we couldn’t reach them.  Approximately thirty minutes later, the door opened and in walked the rest of our girls, rosy cheeks, breathing heavily and shouting, “The bus left us behind.”  They had walked. 

I was so impressed, and it truly warmed my heart to see them at that moment.  Here is a group of girls that will constantly talk about being with boys and hanging out on the streets, when we are leading an activity.  They will complain for the sake of complaining.  Missing the bus was an opportunity for them to do whatever they wanted from 3 to 6 o’clock, and they chose to walk 30 minutes to be with us at the YWCA.  They want to be at the table for the  conversation.  They want to open themselves up to new ways of thinking.  It’s not too late.  These teens see the issues and they are dealing with them in manners that many of us may not agree with, but there is room for change.  In having these conversations, we are planting a seed and that seed is going to grow into the change that needs to happen for racism to be dismantled in this country.       

—Athena M. G. Mota
Director of Advocacy & Communications

girls giving and growing

“This summer was the best ever! If I were at home, I would never be able to do the things we did!  I learned how to sail, use the computer and about famous women. I also learned about respect and that I can be and do anything I want if I try hard enough.  Living in a foster home, I didn’t get to do anything fun. This year I went on two boat cruises, went to the beach, did scavenger hunts, played fun games, got to make new friends and the best part was that it was all girls.”

—“Tina,” age 12

teen talk

“In the first semester of Teen Talk, we had a girl who didn’t participate or have any interest in computers, science or the interactive computer program, Zoey’s Room. Instead of doing Tek Treks, she would want to watch music videos or play games.  She also tended to engage in negative behaviors in order to grab the group’s attention.  Through the use of fun hands on activities and enthusiasm, we slowly began to get her more involved.  She learned that there were positive ways to get attention.  With the help of her instructors and peers, she began to really focus on the Zoey’s Room program.  In three months, she completed an outstanding 8 Tek Treks for a total of 20 points.  She was the third highest scorer of the group.  Every group session, she raced to the computer and got going on her Tek Treks.  The girl, who in the beginning said she “hated science!”  was now performing science experiments and had configured her own database.  She also continued to log into Zoey’s Room from home throughout the summer despite the    program coming to an end.  The smile on her face reached from ear to ear when she saw how far she had come at the end of the program and was rewarded with inspirational magnets and a Zoey’s Room mouse pad.”

—Kathleen Stykowski
Teen Services Coordinator

encoreplus

“Maria” was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993, while she was living in Puerto Rico.  The cancer went into   remission.  She moved to New Bedford in 2002.  In 2005, the cancer metastasized.  She found herself very sick, far from family and friends.  She was referred to the YWCA for assistance.  Through the ENCOREplus Program, Maria was able to find someone who spoke Spanish that was able to provide her with transportation and medical interpretation for her      appointments.  Program staff were able to hold her hand and listen to her during the most difficult time in her life.  The YWCA also helped her find affordable housing, fuel assistance and food.  This program made a great difference in her life.

yw kids school age child care

For the last 2 summers the YWCA has worked with a therapist from Child and Family Services to provide care for two children.  The mother of these children “Dorothy” does not work and has mental health issues.  She is also morbidly obese.  The YWCA explains the paperwork needed for the child care program to the therapist.  The therapist helps the mother fill out the paperwork.  The children are able to get out of the house and enjoy socializing with their peers, as well as participating in field trips and physical exercise.

“Jacob” began attending Yw kids in 1998 when he was 7 yrs old.  He lived with his mom at the YWCA’s Reunion House.  Mom graduated in 1999, moved into her own apartment, and “Jacob” continued to attend Yw kids, first as a DSS supportive case, then into a basic income eligible slot when mom started working and going to school.  Jesse remained in our program until he aged out at 13.  He visits the program regularly and now that he is 16 years old, he has applied for a job as an     assistant group leader.

“Tiffany”  began attending Yw kids at age six because her mother was disabled due to the HIV virus.  “Tiffany” stayed with the program until age 12 when her mother passed away.  Staff helped her decide what to wear to the wake, what to expect, and also attended the wake that evening.  “Tiffany” stayed with the program even after she turned 13 because it was so important for her to have someplace safe and nurturing.  Her older brother became her guardian and “Tiffany” left to live with him in Acushnet.  She visits the program when she can and can’t wait until she can apply for a job.

residential services

“Six years ago I was a 46 year old woman addicted to drugs and was homeless.  I wanted to die, I couldn’t live that life any longer!  I prayed to God for help, yes he does answer prayers… his way!  I was arrested,  I call it rescued!  I went to a short-term program for 10 months, while there I started   volunteering for the YWCA at a small office called the Blue Triangle.  I got to fit into society, slowly, and it built my self-esteem up.  So, I found the YWCA had a house for women living independently.  I knew I was not ready for the world  after 10 short months, so I furthered my recovery, and moved into A Woman’s Place.  What a gorgeous house, well kept, large space, I knew it was for me!  So, of course, I moved in.  First floor, with my own room and bathroom.  What more could I ask for?  I met many women during my year there.  From all walks of life, many nationalities, I bonded with each and every one of them, no matter what age.  We’d have coffee in the morning, sit and talk, then go to a meeting.  Learn about each other’s struggles through life and hopefully gave each other hope to get through one more day.  We were there for each other.  I volunteered at the YWCA every day for the year that I lived there, to my surprise.  I was invited to the staff Holiday party.  I felt privileged and honored.  So now, I have had 2 years clean and get stronger each day.  My fiancé and I bought a house and moved in.  I still keep in touch with the YWCA.  I drop in every once in awhile.  I may need them again someday, you never know what life brings you.  But, I know, if I need a safe place to go, with lots of caring and love, it would definitely be A Woman’s Place.  Thank you all!

—Kim
Former Resident

widowed persons program

I have been a widow now for three years. In the beginning, I spent all my time mostly praying and looking for anyone who would listen to me retell the events leading to my husband’s death. My children and extended family had already heard these stories a hundred times and were sick and tired of hearing these same stories over and over again. I would talk endlessly to my friends about the same things and they eventually avoided me when they could. My days were spent writing notes because I couldn’t remember the jobs I had to do. Then I would spend part of the day looking for those notes because I couldn’t remember where I had put them. I couldn’t concentrate. I almost caused a couple of accidents while driving. One evening I drove for miles before another driver alerted me that my headlights weren’t on.  When something needed to be repaired I had no clue who or where to call. That scared me because I never knew where to turn.  My mind was just not functioning.  I had no appetite and had much difficulty sleeping. I couldn’t even remember what the doctor had told me after a visit in his office. I knew I had to do something with my life because this was no way to go on.  I didn’t want to live.

I had received a letter from the YWCA Widowed Persons Program along with a brochure stating about the various support groups they were offering. I had put that letter aside and didn’t act on it. After going through the same “rituals” every day and not getting anywhere, I remembered that letter, looked for it, found it and decided to call the telephone number at the bottom of the page.  Anything was better than what I was going through. (Grieving is pure hell!) I spoke with the program director and she went into detail about their program. I was skeptical but I said I would try it.

Well, I joined the YWCA Widowed Persons Program support group. It may not be for everyone, but it certainly helped me! I was able to tell and retell the events of my husband’s death and everybody not only listened but also shared their sadness, regrets, guilt and anger right along with me. When you haven’t lost your loved one, you have no idea how much one really loses. I was so touched when I saw the man sitting two seats down from me crying over the loss of his wife, or the man next to me who regretted never learning how to cook or do laundry.  The woman who sat across from me was telling us how frightened she was because she never wrote a personal check to pay the bills. She didn’t know how because her husband took care of that.

Guess what? I understood what all these people were going through because I could relate to most of the things they were talking about.  I always thought I was going crazy.  I finally found that I wasn’t alone in feeling the way I did.  There were others out there just like me.  I found that telling and  retelling the events of our spouses’ deaths finally helped us absorb the reality of our losses. We have all bonded and have become friends.  I can now call anyone I want in the group knowing THEY KNOW what I’m going through, and they listen to me when I speak... very important!

In our support group, the program has speakers come in and fill us in on several subjects and are also there with referrals for any needs we may have. The program director always reminds us that we have choices to make in our lives every day. We can choose to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing, or we can go out and be among the  living. I chose the latter. I got out and joined the support group and am now able to consider myself a functioning human being again. Thank heaven!

I couldn’t have done it without the YWCA Widowed Persons Program. Thank you, YWCA!

—Natalie
WPS participant

medical transportation program

You have no idea how wonderful the Medical Transportation Program is.  So reliable.  It seems when you get old you’re at the Dr.’s office more and more.  Everything seems to be giving out.  It’s a wonderful thing you’re doing and it is very much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Mrs. L. – 86 and still kicking.

Before this service I would ask a friend to take me to my doctor’s appointment or call a taxi which I can’t afford.  This is an important service that you provide to us.  I thank you very much and really appreciate it.  I’m sending a donation, again thank you very much for the help. 

—Mr. P.

I would like to say these YWCA Medical Transportation rides are the only way I am able to get to doctors that are a distance away.  I live alone with no immediate family to give me rides to the doctor.  Most of my friends are seniors and they don’t drive.  I’m on a fixed income.  I can’t afford to pay a cab   myself $30 round trip.  I am disabled and have several doctors that I see.  Without the YWCA Medical Transportation rides, I would not receive the medical attention that I need. 

—Mrs. G.

I am writing in support of the Medical Transportation Service, provided through the YWCA.  I am a senior who uses this service nearly every month.  Many seniors live on small incomes and cannot afford regular cab services, with so many doctors’ appointments scheduled.  For some of us, this is the only way we can get to some of our  appointments.  To those who provide this funding, please do not let it lapse because we really need it.  Believe me it is greatly appreciated. 

—Mrs. A.

I’m 91 years old, a notch baby.  I had colon cancer in 1998, my husband died in 1995.  I have no bank account, only Social Security and a small pension for 29 years of work.  I live alone and    qualify for all services.  This service is always there when I need to go to the doctor or hospital.  I get the best       service.  Everyone is helpful, polite and courteous.  I wouldn’t still be alive if I didn’t get the service when I’m in need.  It’s always on time.  The drivers are very helpful and polite and I thank them and the Lord for all I receive.  Thank you. 

—Mrs. P.